The Best Kind Of Crazy
by SweetDisposition34
Summary: After months spent apart and the obstacles in their way, Emma with unexplected help realizes that there is one person who will always love her, and who she will always love, no matter how much she wants to change that. Wemma/spoilers!/one-shot


**Love me some Wemma! Hha okay some speculation for "Journey" (ahh, tomorrow is the last Glee till January! Some good ficcing shall commense then!) and a pretty MAJOR Wemma/Emma spoiler for "Journey" and pretty much all of Season 2 or longer... read at your own risk!**

**One-shot!**

**Review, dollies, can I get 20 reviews for this baby? Enjoy all of the wonderful cheesyness! (but not "Fromunda Cheese"- thank you Puck)**

"Ms. Pillsbury?" the clear voice of Rachel Berry shook Emma from her daydream. She smiled up at the teen who had Quinn Fabray and Mercedes Jones on her either side. All three smiled at Emma, and she reluctantly waved them into her office. Emma, who was usually more than in the mood to put other people's lives in order, felt too caught up in her own mess to help anyone fully lately.

She'd seen the hurt on his face when she told him.

Will always left her notes on her desk- every single day since she had so unkindly spoken to him in the faculty lounge. He promised her in every love letter that he would never let something like that happen again, that seeing her hurt made him ache inside too. He never wanted her to feel like that again. He had told her he loved her at the end of every letter, and stressed the point more recently.

His little notes, never more than a paragraph long, had found their way into a neat pile inside one of Emma's desk drawer. She had mentally dubbed it the "Will" drawer about a month ago, two weeks after the confrontation. They weren't really on speaking terms with each other, but the letters were a constant in her life.

As much as she hated to admit it, she loved them. She still loved him, too. If only things could be that simple, she thought to herself idly as she would watch him walk by her office window. _He wishes I could look at him the way I used to, _she thought, _when the truth is I still do. I never stopped... _

It took all of her inner strength to choke back the lump in her throat whenever she saw him. He had not only been the man she was so madly in love with, but her best friend. Breaking up is hard enough to go through with your best friend at your side, but Emma had lost both. And she was never really a people person (people really, really scared her sometimes- they brought sweat and germs everywhere they went), so she had never bothered to make friends in Lima besides the members of the faculty.

Julie Wilkinson, the English teacher, cast Emma the occassional smile after she stood up to Will in the lounge, but other than Julie, Will, and some of the glee kids, Emma could safely say she had no friends. Why should she? So, when her dentist, Neil Larkin, asked her to dinner one Friday evening, she couldn't bring herself to decline.

It was only days after her spat with Will, and she was beginning to feel his loss more than ever. Plus, Neil smelled like Lysol and minty toothpaste, and she liked the fact that he wore plastic gloves for the majority of the day when dealing with his patients. They'd had a few dates, and since Neil had gone to medical school, he understood parts of her condition. She tried to ignore the germs when around her new beau, but she just couldn't. And the truth of the matter was that whenever she looked into Neil's strange green eyes and looked at his short dark brown hair (pin straight), she longed for the passionate blue orbs and sandy curls that could only ever hold her heart.

Will.

He was her reason why, her reason for getting out of bed and accomplishing the seemingly gravity-defiant flip of her bangs for the last two years of her life. Will was her constant, and so even at his loss, the letters provided her with a strange amount of comfort.

The morning she saw a manilla envelope on her desk instead of a letter, Emma's heart caught in her throat. She knew what this was before she even looked at it, and soon, the tears were streaming down her face. This was everything she had ever hoped for, right? This was what Emma had been so secretly dreaming of for years, and now she had it, and she had gone and ruined everything. Emma had nothing now, nothing except for her job, the promise of a new letter when she woke up, and the increasingly obnoxious Neil.

When Will came to see her later that day, Emma couldn't bring herself to let him in. Not yet- she had waited two years for him. And the truth was, she was still incredibly hurt by the fact that he had made out with Shelby, the Vocal Adrenaline coach. And that he had, apparently, slept with April Rhodes. He'd tried to explain it to her, but Emma was still painfully oblivious to the fact that all Will and April had done was sleep. She was still painfully oblivious to the fact that the framed wedding photo of Will and Terri had been placed in the bottom of a drawer, face down, and then slowly made its way to the back of the closet, then into the "winter clothes" bin come Spring, and finally to the trashcan.

If Emma had known that instead, the picture of she and Will taken by Kurt one day at glee rehearsal stood in it's place, maybe she would have said yes that day. Maybe she wouldn't have told him about Neil. "H-He... he tolerates me," she managed, her voice barely a whisper. "He likes me and he understands me, um, my p-problems..." her voice trailed off.

"Fine, Emma, fine," he said and she could hear the hurt so obvious is his voice. He kissed her then, and she tried to pull away but could not make herself. She wished that it could last forever, that nothing else existed but she and Will. As they pulled apart, she could swear she saw the unshed tears glistening in his eyes and felt her own tears falling down her cheeks. He did not wipe them away, but instead whispered, "He might tolerate you, but I want to spend every second of my life with you. He might like you, but I love you, and even though I can't understand some of your problems, you're always going to be perfect to me."

He walked away, letting her hand slip from his grasp and her heart break on the floor in front of them. It had been a Friday, Regionals the next day. The kids had won- beat Vocal Adrenaline with an astounding performance. She wished she could have gone, but she couldn't. She was too scared now.

That was all she was, a coward, a shell of the girl she used to be when she had Will.

So, as the three teenage girls took their seats in front of her desk, Emma could hardly bring herself to listen to them. She was falling apart bit by bit, and she knew that only the mention of Will's name could have her in tears. There were still notes, smaller ones now, and most of them just said, "I still love you, I always will" with no signature on them.

X

"What can I do for you three?" she faked a smile, longing for the reassurance of Purrell but stopping herself before she could. Her therapy had been working better than she thought, and even though it was humiliating and horrible, she liked to think there was a fragment of light at the end of its dark tunnel.

She hoped that light was Will.

"We need to talk," Rachel said, "but we need to be honest with you, Ms. P. And... please don't think we're rude, but-"

Mercedes rolled her big brown eyes and interrupted her friend, "You're being an idiot, Ms. P, both of you are," she stated bluntly, a note of sympathy to her tone. Emma knew who they were referring to, what they were referring to, but decided to play along.

"P-pardon me?" Emma asked as she saw Will pass by her office. He always chose the worst times to walk by, she thought to herself, always when she needed to focus. She let her brown eyes follow him for a minute before snapping herself into reality and saying quietly, "I-I, umm, I don't know what your talking about."

Quinn placed her hand on Emma's arm, and was shocked when Emma didn't pull away. She was almost abnormally close to the guidance counselor ever since Beth was born. Emma had helped Quinn decide on an open adoption for her daughter so that she could still see her grow up and love her like a parent would, but it also let Quinn achieve her dreams to leave this godforsaken town. Emma had been there for the girl every hard step of the way and lent her a shoulder to cry on when her baby was taken away. "Ms. P, don't just do that," she motioned with her head outside to where Will was standing, "and tell us you don't know what we're talking about. You're both hurting. You need each other and you're both too proud to admit it, but it's hurting him— and you- so badly."

Emma tried to protest. It wasn't because she proud- it was because she was hurt. As much as she tried to deny it, she knew Quinn was right. The blonde girl was wise beyond her sixteen years, probably due to things like the stretch marks on her belly or the picture of the sleeping blonde angel in her wallet, and Quinn was only being honest. If Emma just stopped trying to prove her own words right, she'd be back looking at Will like she used to and mooning over his kindness and charm in a split second. And everybody, apparently, knew it. She inhaled sharply, nodded slowly and allowing Rachel to speak.

"We love you guys, both, and we know you love each other, too. But more than that- you're best friends. When he was dealing with his crazy wife, you were there. And when you were trying to get past your, umm, thing with like messes and stuff, he was there. You need each other, Ms. P. And really, not to bring glee into this-"

"Here we go again," sighed Mercedes, but she said no more.

"- he can't concentrate. Finn and Matt split a PB&J yesterday and he almost cried. And he quite literally had a melt down when Santana left rehearsal early for a dentist appointment," Rachel explained, and Emma felt her heart sink. He remembered the peanut butter sandwich they shared at the beginning of the year? And he got annoyed about someone leaving him to go see a dentist? Emma shuddered, hating the thought of him hurt.

Mercedes said, "Listen, we know that you're going out with that dentist guy from a few towns up. Everyone knows," she clarified, "because Finn caught him crying about it a few days after Regionals. He didn't even want to celebrate, and we beat Vocal Adrenaline. You've seen them preform Ms. P- you can't call a win like that easy. He was too down about you and Captain Toothpaste to want to enjoy our win because he loves you so much. And we know that you love him, no matter what you say. You can't just go to pushing back your own wedding a few hours for his class field trip to moving on totally to someone else, can you?"

Emma's brown orbs widened. How did they know all of this? The wedding, the dentist, Sectionals... Sectionals. That was the best and worst day of her life. Saturday, glee had won. And she had finally confessed her true feelings to Will after two years of bottling them up. He felt the same way, and she couldn't trust him. She was too scared he'd go scampering back to Terri, leaving her alone in the dust. She was doing the same thing she had then, and this time, she knew that he wouldn't come running (literally, running) after her.

She remembered it so fondly when he wrapped her in his arms for the first time that fateful Monday, the best moment of her thirty one years, and kissed her. She had kissed one person before Will (Andy, her creepy high school boyfriend. Once.) but she still considered him her first kiss- the first one she had actually enjoyed.

She looked up at the three girls in front of her, feeling very suddenly empty. She couldn't be scared or too proud to put herself out there. Her heart had been on her sleeve for so long now with Will she couldn't remember the last time she had wished for him just as a friend. And now here she was, groveling in her mind, for just something of him. A hello, a conversation, something, anything. She realized that that was never going to happen if she didn't let it. "I-I... um, thank you girls," she said. "I'm glad you told me-"

"Ms. P, you need to just go to him. Tell him you love him, because everyone and there brother knows you do, heck, Beth probably knows you do," Quinn said suddenly. Rachel turned pale at the mention of baby Beth, she knew that was a sore spot with her new best friend. Mercedes exchanged a glance with Rachel, silently thinking the same thing as the smaller brunette.

Quinn continued, "You both are a lot to lose, I think. I-I... I don't know what I would have done without you or Mr. Schue. And now you're both losing each other, and nothing is going to be right. We've seen you two from the beginning, we were all there, Ms. P, we all saw all of it. We saw him run to you after Sectionals down the hallway, Kurt was practically in tears!" the girls chorused in giggles, and Emma couldn't help omitting one herself. "Girls like us grow up dreaming of a love like that, Ms. Pillsbury, and we all want to see you two get your fairytale ending..." her voice trailed off as Rachel and Mercedes nodded excessively in agreement.

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Rachel proclaimed, flipping her glossy brown locks over her shoulder.

"You always need to have the last word, don't you, Barb?" Mercedes teased, getting up to leave with her friends. The girl looked from her teacher to Mr. Schuester outside in the hallway, focusing on the glee bulletin board intently, and whispered, "Go..." before scurrying off to class.

X

Neil came over that night. Emma couldn't help but cringe as he droned on and on about some old lady's incisor that needed a root canal "something fierce!" She swallowed, trying to be polite and not let thoughts of Will seep into their dinner conversations. She hadn't gone to him when the girls left, though she knew she had to.

As Neil dropped her off at her doorstep to her condo, she prayed it wasn't too late. A shooting star whizzed across the sky, and she couldn't help but think it wasn't nearly as bright as Will's eyes. Or his smile, or his... her thoughts trailed off and succumbed to panic when she realized Neil was leaning his lips closer and closer to her own. Emma gasped, feeling slightly guilty as she turned her cheek to him quickly. He had only kissed her once before, and his lips had been gross and too wet, and though she tried to be composed, Emma had to excuse herself to go scrub her own lips in the restaurant bathroom.

"Thanks, Neil," she replied quickly, hastily beginning to shut the door, but thought better of it. "For everything. But... I don't think this is going to work out," she announced, wishing she had said all of this two months ago. Neil was obnoxious, loud, self centered, and had attempted undressing her without her consent two weeks ago. And that- none of that- would ever be okay with her.

Because none of that was Will.

"You're crazy..." Neil spat on her doorstep, and she thought it was childish. "You belong in some mental asylum, you know that?" his eyes spewed anger, and she immediately felt the pang of hurt in her chest. "You crazy, insane, bitch!" he cried at her, and she slammed the door. "They should have locked you up ages ago..." he muttered, stomping away.

That was when Emma broke down. She was crazy, she was insane, she wasn't good enough- not for anyone.

X

It had taken her only one longing glance at Will's letters to realize that Mercedes had been right- she was being an idiot. She decided that morning, the Monday after she had been so rudely accused of insanity by Neil, that she needed to take action. She needed to go to Will. And, obviously, she needed to switch dentists. But the former definitely preceded the latter on her list of priorities.

She drove to his house around seven that night, knowing glee rehearsal would be over. She wanted him to hold her, to love her, to promise her that everything was going to be alright. That she wasn't insane as Neil had made her out to be. She let a tear fall as she gripped the wheel- her grasp so tight around the rungs that her clenched knuckles turned white. See, she thought, this when he would have put his hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek and wiped all my tears and worry away, but I blew it. And now, it's up to me to fix it.

She got in the elevator and felt numb as she knocked on apartment number 4B. She heard footsteps coming closer to the door, an eye through the peephole, and suddenly the door was slowly being opened. "Emma," Will breathed, taking in the sight of the distraught woman he loved in front of him. Her tears were obvious, leaving tracks on her cheeks.

"Will," she managed, blinking so that the last few annoying tears left her eyes as quickly as possible. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms now, in love again, but she knew nothing was that simple.

"W-what... Do you want to come in?" he asked her, changing the course of his sentence midway through, remembering to take things one step at a time. She nodded, biting her bottom lip nervously in the irresistible way that he loved so much. He loved all of her, every little thing, even the imperfect parts. Because that's what made her perfect, right? He led her to the couch where she sat down, and he sat next to her, a good distance between them. What was in real life only a foot or so, it felt like an eternity to both Will and Emma.

"I missed you," he whispered into the night air, and she looked up. She didn't want to meet his eyes, but something about those glistening blue gems always pulled her in. She swallowed hard, trying to erase the lump in her throat, but soon she was crying again.

At first he was confused, "Em, why are you cry-"

"D-do you still mean it? W-what you said?" she interrupted. He nodded slowly, knowing what she meant.

"Emma, of course," he told her softly, his own tears fairly prominent in his eyes now. "I... I don't just tolerate you, Em, I want to be with you every second of every day, with you in my arms a-and I love you, so, so much. And even though I can't understand everything about your problems with messes like this Neil guy does-"

"Neil doesn't understand anything." Her statement was simple, urgent, but she refused to meet his eyes. He didn't question it, but continued instead.

"And I don't view it like a problem, Em... It's just one of the things that makes me love you. That makes you perfect..." And suddenly, she looked up at him.

"Really?" her voice was honest, not pressing for him to praise her more.

"Of course, sweetheart, Em, of course... I-I've loved you for so long, I'm _in_ love with you, Em... you just being _you_ is so flawless and I know that you can probably never love me again, but you're it for me. You're the one, and all of this, it's only led me to know that what I want is you," he stopped to gaze into her brown eyes, the very keys to her heart and feelings.

They showed hurt, longing, and something he had seen in his own glance for a while now. Since the night he put the chalk on her nose, Will had been hopelessly and irrevocably in love with Emma Pillsbury. And he'd already lost that look once, he refused to have it happen again. She loved him. She loved him back- finally.

He pulled her into his arms as she whispered, "Oh, Will, I-I've never stopped being in love with you... but I realized that I can never stop, I'm just kidding myself, I'm just scared..." she buried her head in the crook of his neck between his chin and shoulder and he kissed her hairline lovingly. "But I can't do this anymore, I... I need you more than I've needed anyone and I realized that you loved me, you always have w-when … when he said that I was crazy, insane..."

"Who, Em? Who said that?"

"N-neil... Neil told me that I should be in an asylum, because of my phobia and my problems, and it hurt, Will, that hurt so badly and I just knew you wouldn't have ever hurt me like that. And that you loved me for me, y-you would never ever-"

"Try to change that. Because you're perfect- you're the woman that I fell in love with..." he cut her off, finishing her sentence. "And I'm so glad I did..."

The phrase from a tune from Wicked rushed across his mind: _and somehow I'm feeling, It's up that I fell... _and for the first time he understood. He knew it was true. He was so happy, of all things, that he had found her. And fallen in love with her. And with that, he kissed her.

It was the single most passionate kiss she had ever felt, and soon they were laying on his couch. Emma felt the love radiating from every part of him and herself, the needy way they clung to each other, never wanting to let go for fear of the other leaving. She nestled her head against his chest and he held her only tighter as they drifted off. When she began to feel his arms go limp with sleep around her, she stirred to adjust her positioning on top of him. As she curled into him, he pulled her close and kissed her once more. "Shh," she told him, feeling a happy tear trickle down both of their cheeks, the wet warmth slicing through the chilly May night, "I'm not going anywhere..."

**I was in the mood for some good, cheesy, sappy Wemma love! I mean, come on now, the show has not been giving us a good amount of Wemma fluff to go off of, and I know I'm not the only one who watches and re-watches the last minute and a half of "Sectionals" to keep their sanity... haha... As for my other multi chap fic, The Sweetest Faces, I'm going to ****update soon, I swear, but I don't have good inspiration when the chemistry in the show for these two honeys is so lacking lately! Don't worry, updates should be coming for that one... promises! **

**p.s. Check out the "Journey" pictures on ... I was so surprised at one of them (you'll know which one) because I've never seen Emma so seemingly angry, minus the faculty lounge epic ownage hhaa. Love and kisses!**

**REVIEW, dollies!**

**xoxo**

**me **


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